Why crickets are the spawn of satan

This happened to me a while ago but i figure its worth writing about cause it made so many people laugh...cept me

There I lay peacefully sleeping, relaxed and calm. My son wakes up WAY to early for me on the weekends so i let him play games on my computer while i get a little extra nappin time in. Suddenly he wakes me up with," DAD DAD come quick the crickets are escaping everywhere!" Two things, i have a lizard that i feed crickets to so i do happen to have a small aquarium with 50 or so crickets in there at any given time, second my little man is only 7 so he tends to exaggerate the truth at times. So i am yanked from my calm state by this troubling statement. I run out to where i keep my crickets only to find the lid has been knocked off and there are literally 50 large crickets running for their lives, " FREEDOM YAY!!!!!!" so i try to grab them as they scramble under everything in sight i don't even know where to start. Needless to say i might have grabbed 5 of them before they were all hiding. At the time i lived in my uncles basement suite with lots of family. There was about 9 of us living in that house so this isn't just my problem. Now I'm sitting there half asleep, 7 year old jumping up and down all excited asking , " what do we do Dad?!?" at that point i had no answer. I tried my best to recover more of them after i actually woke up but to no avail. The odd one would wander out from its hiding place and id grab it and feed it to my lizard as fast as i could cause well it deserved to pay the price for revolting. The first day was spent not really worrying about it. That night as i try to go to sleep well..... These Little bastards from hell start chirping like crazy. They are everywhere, in my laundry, in my bed, on book shelves, under the dresser etc. All i can hear is these crickets taunting me all night long. I try to shrug it off and go to sleep but its hard. For the next 4 or 5 days my roomies keep bringing me the odd cricket escapee. I feed them all to the lizard king as i get them cause they deserve instant death upon capture. Each morning i wake to the sound of chirping, some might think its nice maybe a bit like camping but when you wake up to these little bastards walking across your chest its far from a happy place. Finally after about a week i cant take it anymore there is still a pack of them hiding out in my room and i just cant seem to get all of them. At about 5am which is way to early for any sane person to be awake i have finally had enough. After spending another sleepless night hating crickets i snap, jump from my bed smashing everything that makes a sound. Jumping on my laundry pile.......chirp Slamming things under my dresser pushing my desk flat against the wall etc freaking out with maniacal laughter. The cricket Holocaust has begun! After about 20 minutes of hunting and smashing all that dares to chirp at me I feel like i have beaten this plague. I sit on the edge of my bed, its quiet. So i lay down to catch the last hour or two of sleep before work and there it is CHIRP!. There is a freaking cricket just outside my bedroom door. I quietly get up and go to see where this little bastard is. Carefully opening my door i look around only to notice its coming from under the dryer. Ugh there is very little room to get under the dryer and get to it so i turn the dryer on in hopes the it will either fry of at least come out to meet its maker (me) no dice. For the next day or two this bug chirps away happily and i cant get to it. It eventually stopped so finally after a bit more than a week of hell all was quiet once again. I stopped buying large crickets as they tend to chirp more than medium or small and the lid is securely held in place. I even ate one in front of the others as a warning but I'm not sure they got the hint. Anyways that's my reason for hating crickets and i think its a valid one. If they wanna find a mate cant they do it quietly? ...........Chirp