The peak of my existance

There is this thing, a word that i just cant get enough of hearing. Its not "free" or "Yes" or "hemorrhoid" Its a simple three letter word that has the power to lift my spirit up from any depth of misery, Its "Dad" It can be said in any way sarcastic, loving, pissed off, whatever. I can not seem to get enough of that word. The only other requirement is that, well... my son has to say it. (I'm three shades of freak but cmon people get your mind out of the gutter, geez!) Back to my point, pre-parenthood my life had some meaning but it wasn't really anything substantial. Getting high or laid is hardly a meaning to life its merely an existence. I was married but that seemed like a party mostly.

When my wife got pregnant i was happy,kinda scared and supremely misinformed. I had heard all the talk about how it changes your life, listened to people tell me its the best thing ever. I heard all the buzz about it. In a small way i also knew it was going to be an experience that would forever change my life. I mostly thought of the responsibilities and diaper changes. All the missing sleep and stress that comes along with having a small child around. I am a fairly emotional guy and i was expecting to receive a flood of happiness that i had heard was part of being a parent. Even more i had seen pregnant women before and of course i knew how kids were born etc but WOW was it a shock to be that involved with a pregnant woman. My wife swelled up and was host to this creation that i helped make. It really messed with my head. I found it amusing how i had somehow missed the entire point to all of it till i was part of it. I do try to feel and see things from other peoples points of view but till that point in my life i had no idea.
After nine months of taking care of my wife and making those trips for the odd cravings women get when they are pregnant (who puts hot sauce in McDonald's strawberry milkshakes...yuck) I figured i was generally well prepared for the coming event. My son was due on May 12/2000 When that day came and went my nerves started to get a bit tense. ( i know her nerves were shot too but I'm talking about me here she can write her own damn record of events) So ya i was entering a weird place. My wife wasn't very pleased about missing her due date, I guess that's like adding time onto a prison sentence for something you didn't do. Not really fair. She begged the Dr's to induce labour. The Dr's set a date and told us when to come in. The date happened to be my birthday May 15. I wasn't sure how to take that but whatever i wasn't going to ask her to hold out for another day, Ive done stupid things before but that could have been lethal.

May 14 we went to bed around 12:00 at night, i had passed out peacefully beside my wife at my mother in laws place. Knowing we were going to need all the extra help we could get and having the opportunity it just made sense to stay there for awhile. I remember this vividly at 12:25 i hear this noise that wake's my sleeping ass up a bit," Dale my water just broke.." Now i am not good when i wake up, things are a bit foggy for me for a few minutes before i understand the world. I sit up in bed looking around thinking wtf? "Huh," is all i can muster out as i watch her walking towards the bed holding her stomach. I lay back down hoping this will all go away and let me sleep. "DALE, we have to go to the hospital my WATER BROKE!"she says again with a bit more ferocity. Lying on my back with my eyes closed on the verge of dreamland the thought runs through my head and registers fully. "OH SHIT!" I sit up straight now, " I start freaking out, "OK OK hold on a sec uhh what do we do?" I start running down the stairs in my boxers with my keys in hand. Now I'm a all flustered half naked, brain still not quite functioning but I'm trying to force it. I hear the obvious. "Hey your going to need some clothes, and how about helping me will ya" she yells at me. I turn around and by this time i am feeling a bit more coherent. I see my mother in law is awake and we all get things in order to go to the hospital. I eventually get dressed and help my wife to the truck and speed off to the hospital.
12:35 We arrive at the hospital. No shit what seemed to take forever was only a few minutes. My in laws told us to go and that they would bring her all her stuff in a bit. We get to the hospital which is located downtown, not to far from where we were staying. I find parking rather easily at midnight. We get out of the truck and start going towards the front doors only to get stopped by security, " Hey what are you doing?" they ask us. Lots of crack heads and homeless people downtown so it is kinda valid. I tell them whats up and i figure id get some sort of reaction from them. Wrong, they point at the door and casually walk away drinking their coffee's. After a bit of messing around and doing paper work she gets up to her room rather uneventfully. We are lucky to goet a room all to ourselves. Her parent show up and we start to wait.
By morning i had called my parents and brother and a few other people. They all started to show up and hang out in the room with us. My wife didn't really seem to mind. It was my birthday and she was doing ok with labor at that point. Pain for her didn't make her freak out she just got real quiet. The events of that day could fill a book up so i will kinda blurr through it. One rather funny thing did happen though. My brother from lack of sleep decided to have a nap in the waiting room. Well there was 25 kids born that day so there was alot of people in the maternity ward. He still manages to find the only couch in there and stretch out on it for a nap. What a guy. I go looking go looking for him and i peek my head in there to see if that's where he is. I see a room full of people holding their nose's i guess my bro while he slept managed to make the hospital an even more unpleasant place for everyone. I laugh and wake him up and drag him outside for a smoke. Nothing seems to be happening with my wife so i had the time. I go back into the hospital before my brother. When he comes back in he held the door for someone just to be polite. Big mistake, little did he know it was some shit disturbing crack head, and he was the one that let her in. After fighting with security to let him stay and boot only her out it was starting to get late. Its about 23 hours since i had arrived to the hospital and i hadn't had any sleep now for almost 2 days. Regardless of whether i had a place to nap, i wasn't going to miss anything for the world.
As the day ends it appears he isn't going to be born on my birthday. Her epidural slowed labor down and he wasn't coming out easy. The Dr's after lots of consideration decide that its not going to be a natural childbirth. They call for an operating room to be readied and take my wife away to pre op. I swore up and down i was not going to leave her side and i would be there with her. I told her that i told the Dr's that. The Dr's told me i couldn't go into pre op with her but i could be with her when they do the procedure. I wasn't very happy about it but at that point i couldn't say much she was already gone. I wandered over to where they said to go and i was led into a waiting room and i put on the gown and gloves etc, so i could go into the operating room. I kept asking the Dr i was with ,"when can i go see her?" He kept stalling me. i knew she was across the hall but i wasn't allowed into the room yet i had to wait for who knows what. After about ten minutes i got really pissy. I had finally had enough of this DR stalling me. I stood up and walked across the hall with im in hot pursuit calling me back. Fuck him i wasn't going to miss this for anything if i had to knock him out to get in there i was willing to. I bust open the doors only to hear, "whats he doing in here, he isn't allowed in here." I shot a look at the guy eyeing me up that said uh no I'm not going anywhere. I ran over to my wife who was at this point laying on her back with a curtain up so she couldn't see her belly. I wasn't going to cause any trouble unless they tried to remove me so they gave me a stool and let me stay. This is where things get a bit hazy. I'm sitting there talking to her and trying my best to keep her and me calm when i hear a screaming baby. My heart leaps into my throat as the reality of "I'm going to be a parent soon" really starts to register in my head. I ask the Dr is it a boy or a girl because i am sitting down and cant quite see anything that's going on. He tells me to have a look. Now i am going to remember this moment in my life forever. In fact if i have only a brief second to think before i die this is what i will be thinking. I stand up to see my baby, not knowing is it a boy or a girl, and OMG there is her huge belly ( i cant see the incision) but theres this huge belly with just this little head poking out screaming. I fall back into my chair dazed. She screams seeing my reaction, "WHATS WRONG OMG WHAT WHAT." Ignoring her i stand up again only to see the nurse or Dr or whoever reach in and pull my screaming baby out. Wow i need a moment...... OK well i have heard most people start counting fingers and toes, check to see the sex etc... All i saw was this red/purple screaming baby in all its glory. I didn't notice anything but baby, The DR has to tell me its a boy and that everything seems to be OK. I look at her and we both have one of those moments that will last a lifetime.
They ask me at this point do you want to stay with your wife or go with your son. I shoot her a look of(well i have seen you many times but hey this is new...) Sorry babe your on your own. Kiss her on the forehead and follow my baby down the hall to the maternity ward. On our way out of the O.R. the doors open up and i can see about 8 people standing there waiting to hear the news, my mom her mom , my brother and a few others. We are about 20' down the hall from them and they are yelling at me ," what is it? boy, girl what what what!!!!" for shits and giggles i only smile and walk slowly towards them not saying a word. (I'm such a dick hehehe) I finally tell them its a boy and his name is Jerry. Everyone beams and is all excited we head to the maternity ward. 9.5 pounds 23" long he is the biggest kid born that day. My family and friends all exhausted from the day at the hospital leave to get some rest.Now i have been up for almost 2 days its about 3AM and all is quiet in the ward. My wife is off getting her post op stuff ( i really have no idea what happened i wasn't there) the nurse tells me i can hold him for awhile if i want. I sat on a stool in the corner quietly staring at my beautiful son for almost 5 hours. Cradling him in my arms all swaddled up in a blanket my neck bent over not blinking forever. I eventually let the nurse take him away so i could get some sleep. I went back to our room to find my wife had fallen asleep and was doing good. All in all it was by far the best day of my life, nothing will ever top that one.
Back to my original point of all this, i thought i had a pretty good idea what it was going to mean for me to be a parent. Knew it was going to change me in huge ways. But no one could have ever told me the instant i laid eyes on my son that i would suddenly know exactly why i was here. Peace!