I thought id start a blog that can be expanded. So today ill post one song. I have had this song stuck in my head for days now......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gU5gA6IcIpk
enjoy.....
and.....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPcP5DIkHac&feature=related
I just had to add one more to this before the weekend. Its another great song hehehe almost more fitting than the other two up here....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YPcP5DIkHac&feature=related
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
And now for something completly random....
The last couple of posts I've had were a tad serious and full of meaning. Time for a change of pace. Something far removed from ordinary. I love music, I love it for many reasons. Some hits close to home, some is deep and thought provoking and some is well down right wrong on so many levels its hilarious....
NUBS!!!
Its kinda hard to wear high heels, or slip on banana peels
How does she get in an out of tubs
I hope she dont get mad, I hope she thinks this song is good not bad
Cause we think that she's totally rad, SHE'S NUBS!
No fingers, no toes
she doesnt own elbows
No phalanges, no knobby knees to knock
She dont need knuckles or hands
to go see punk rock bands
She's always in the stands. Shes nubs!
She cant pick up a phone
she cant get dressed alone
she's got no funny bone. She's nubs
No shoes, Or feet , but we sure do think she's neat
she's nubs,she's nubs she's nubs
I asked her if she want a drink, I asked her if she liked Toronto,
I asked her to go out to the bar, but all she said was no thanks, no and no
It was time for us to leave, so I grabbed and shook her sleeve
and told her I'd see her at the next club she got into a pack
and some guy put her on his back, she said goodbye and kinda waved her stub
She's got beauitful eyes, and breasts regular size,
but without calves and thighs, she's nubs
It's hard to give good head or get tied to a bed,
when all you've got is a body and head, she's nubs
She's nubs, She's nubs, She's nubs...
Oh she may not walk the walk, and she may not like to talk
but boy she sure knows how to rock, she's nubs.
Written by:Nofx
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQPGXpf8UZ8&feature=related this is the song on youtube. Its not the official video i doubt there is one. But if yea wanted to hear it. I think its great.
Here is a link to her myspace account! http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=5253348
I read her myspace and other things about her and for someone with many problems as i am sure she has. She seems alot happier than most people i know with all their arms and legs. Had a shitty day? Atleast you can scratch your nose if it itchs.....
Monday, May 5, 2008
Priceless
May 1/2008
Driving home from work Thursday afternoon anticipating my little man's embrace and his "Hi DAD!". I started to contemplate what we should do together on this special three day Father and son weekend. I had a hellish couple of weeks, I took on some pretty stressful situations, things that would have left me laid out under a blanket hiding from the world a few years prior. I had overworked myself doing side jobs as a part of it all too. Basically I was spent, but knew i had this little boy looking forward to being with his Dad. I consider our time together as our adventure, its my duty to help make it great. Even though i had already worked all day and was sick of driving, we would go to my parents place. I figured road trip or camping and camping involves driving anyways plus a lot of other packing planning etc... no thanks. My parents place is a bit of a road trip but i knew once i got there it would be relaxing, plus Jerry needed some face time with his grandparents. Little did i know how great this was going to be.
I picked my little man at about 7pm, after getting my stuff ready (laundry) and driving out to get him we had about 2 hours of light left to enjoy the mountains. When his mom's vehicle pulls up my heart always skips a beat. the last few seconds before i get my hug i been waiting for what seems like forever are quite long in fact. He dives on me and we giggle alot. I get him loaded up and off we go. As we go i hear all about the serious business it is to be a seven year old trying to keep in mind to him this IS serious stuff. We drive up the #5 highway enjoying the mountains. I have driven it many times and i still get pumped about going through there. When the sun goes down we spot the first star of the night and make wish's.( i wont tell you mine but it came true) He plays his nintendo and i concentrate on driving. Just being near him makes me beam, I feel as though nothing else around me exists or matters. As the road winds through hills and valley's it gets darker than he has ever really experienced so we pull over. We jump out and the sky is littered with stars. His gasps and squeals add to my already goofy grin. We sit in the dark in the middle of nowhere, sky watching contemplating aliens and pokemon. Not far now we are almost there.
After another 30 minutes or so we arrive at my parents place, My parents are ready for bed and so are we. Me and Jerry hang on the couch for a bit exhausted from the journey. We drag our stuff into our room and after about 3 minutes both sleeping soundly. I wake up to him poking me in the ribs at 8am. "Dad.... I'M LIKE RUBBER YOUR LIKE GLUE!!!" It a goofy game we play, who ever says it first each day owns it. So even when i phone him he answers like that. Little bugger. Juvenile i know but that just makes it more funner. (yea i know) Its earlier than i normally get up for work on any given day but i drag my ass out of bed. Grandma is at work cause its Friday but Grandpa is there. We all grab our morning gear and sit out on the deck in the sun. Its pretty warm up there so its nice. I got my tea and my guitar Jerry had his juice and grandpa with his coffee. All set to start relaxing. Couple hours go by and we all pile in to grandpa's truck to go visit grandma at the coffee shop. A proud grandma showing off her only grandson that she hasn't seen for almost 8 months was another sight to see. Jerry groans about her enthusiasm but secretly loves the attention. We leave after our lunch and go to the beach with my little sister. (my parents answer to their boys leaving home) Ruby loves the water, i think that's the lab in her. Jerry gets jealous and wants to go into the water with her but doesn't have shorts. So three seconds later he is in the water in his boxers. Splashing around throwing sticks for ruby and me skipping rocks on the water. Serene peace everywhere. Left the beach and went back to the house to be lazy. Jerry doesn't get to play video games all the time so i let him play his nintendo and i sat back and hung with grandpa. Not much more happened other than alot of over eating and laying about for the rest of the evening.
Day 2
I woke up to an elbow in the face, he was still sleeping. So i promptly poked him in the ribs and said," Jerry......." As softly as i could, when he started to stir i boisterously announced, " IM LIKE RUBBER YOUR LIKE GLUE!!!!!!" He awoke with a groan. Me with a smile. Jerry decided he wanted to go hiking today. Zombie hunting/treasure hunting/general chaos/hiking is more like it. Grandpa had a good idea to go see the Myra canyon train trestles.
None of us had ever been there so it would be a good thing to all experience together for the first time. Google is a wonderful thing its has the answers for everything. To bad i dont pay close enough attention to minor details like where exactly it is and how to get there. We got a bit lost on the way there. Amazingly enough we did ask for directions. Cept asking inbred red neck white trash isnt always all that helpful. But we managed to find the logging road we had to traverse to get there. 8 kilometers up a narrow gravel road to the parking lot.
This place was very cool. A few years ago an enormous forest fire swept through the area wiping out most of the trees.They called it a firestorm, It was an environment that neither of us had hiked before so that was another bonus. A bunch of the train trestles were burned down but had been restored and were about to be re opened and finished in a couple of months. It was the perfect time to go see them there wasn't a ton of people there. 15 kilometers of the old kettle valley railway was ready to be explored on foot or by bicycle. Its a great place to hike. Trains don't do steep inclines and neither do I very well. The side of the trail most of the way drops about 500' or more into a canyon. There is no guard rail along most of it and the view is great. So someone gets the great idea to start dropping huge boulders down the cliffs and we all have fun watching the carnage. A squirrel walks right out to all of us as if it was starving and we were its last hope. With a dog and everything it came up to me. I had no food for him so we snapped a couple pics and off it went
Further down the trail we explored the rocks and cliff side. It had become very brittle from the fire. The colors on the rocks were kind of weird in places too. I can only imagine thats another result of the fire, cool reds and oranges burnt right into the cliffs and surviving trees. The standing dead tree's made the landscape look like a war zone at times. We pressed on, gettin to the first tunnel was cool, the trail made a bend around a corner and hidden in the trees was a tunnel. Almost like a dragons lair it appeared spooky.
Not a very long one but still it added to the experience. Jerry spent most of the day running up and down the trail. I swear he hiked twice as far as we did. I told him what i knew about the history of the rail road and he seemed interested. We talked about the bandits that held up trains and the way the people had to blast the mountain side away to get the train through. I love watching his mind work.
Teaching my son to not fear life and to explore it voraciously. Years past he was afraid of heights and wouldn't have walked over these bridges. This day however we walked on the part that had huge gaps, so we could see through to the cliffs below.
Vertigo is a cool feeling, learn to go with it and everything is fine, Fear it and remain to paralyzed to enjoy the wonderful beauty that is being on the top of a mountain. Through the tunnels and over the bridges we walked a total of about 7 kilometers in 4 hours. Starving we left for home. The best was yet to come....
I found my spot on the back porch, from there we could see the mountain we had hiked all day. A beautiful lake nestled at the base, and a sunset in the mountains. Drinking my tea and playing my guitar again we all sat around talking. Then a little girl popped her head over the fence in the backyard. "Who is that over there?" she asked. We giggled and i yelled back, " That's Jerry, come on over and hang out with him!" His face turned red and he glared at me. But i knew he was cool with that idea. So two little girls from over the back fence came over to check him out. One was 7 , Jerry's age and the other was 5. Amanda and Allie and Jerry all stood in a small circle arms folded kicking the dirt introducing each other. I don't usually get to see my little man play with his friends. This made my heart melt. At first they were all timid and sort of shy, but they all wanted the same thing. Soon the squeals of joy were filling the air as they ran around the yard. Jerry managed to get Amanda to push the hammock for him. She was trying to flip him over in it. It was a great sight to see. I know he is partial to blonde's and he was in paradise. The innocents of a little boy and little girl meeting and becoming fast friends will stay with me forever. Its part of the reason i write this now, I never want to forget
Her mom popped her head over the fence and asked the girls what they were doing. So i introduced myself and told her it was OK with us if it was OK with her. They played down in the yard on the hammock. Shoes kicked off and toys littered the yard i never knew so much fun could be had with a hammock. It was dinner time so i called Jerry up and told Amanda that she had to wait for him. We washed up and sat down for dinner. Jerry was so not interested in being there. During the meal my Dad gave me a look motioning me to look in the yard. There was Amanda standing in the bushes sort of hiding, waiting patiently for Jerry to go back down and play. He didn't see her standing there but we did. I fed him a pile pretty quickly and let him go off to play. I know how it is. Food wasn't on his mind his new friend was. They played till it got dark then we all came inside to play cards. Amanda, Jerry, me, my mother and my grandmother all played a card game for 75 cents each. Jerry won two times in a row. He shared his winnings with his new girl.
They were both hilarious to watch. Her mom called and she had to go home and it was close to Jerry's bed time so the game ended. Jerry and I played the rematch to our first tournament on mario cart. This time i won, which bothered him a great deal. hehehe i loved that, now we were tied. I stood in the hallway after tucking him in. He didn't know i was there. I watched as he played with his hands in the air. Laying there he looked so peaceful so innocent. His view of the world is untarnished. I stared as his eye lids became heavy and he drifted off. The perfect end to the perfect day. I found myself a quiet corner to sit in and soak up the day i just had. Savoring every detail of it. Money cant buy experiences like these. 
"IM LIKE RUBBER YOUR LIKE GLUE!!!" my head is fuzzy, "Huh?" i ask not knowing what just hit me. But Score another point for Jerry. He got me again. I groaned and pinned him down. We laid in bed talking about yesterday talking about Amanda. He asked me 10 times if i thought she was cool. I giggled and told him he was the man. I wandered upstairs and Jerry went looking for his friend. Who just happened to be standing right next to the fence ready to hop over at 8:30am. They picked up where they had left off. I drank my tea with a birds eye view of the two of them in the back yard. The morning rays of sun beating down on me felt like a soft blanket. Sore from the hike and tired from trying to keep up with the energy of a seven year old i stretched and groaned. I eventually wandered down and chased the kids around a bit. Pushing them in the hammock of unlimited fun. The smiles and giggling continued.Soon after I packed all our things up. Jerry and Amanda said their goodbye's. She asked for his number, and being the little man that he is he gave it to her. Didn't get hers though so she will have to call him. I high fived him and we said good bye to my folks and hopped in the van for the return trip home. Jerry didn't talk much on the way home. All he wanted to do was play his nintendo. I listened to music and sang to him, he hated that. On the way home we decided to stop at another of our favorite hiking places the Othello tunnels. Its basically more tunnels and train trestles just further along the same line we had hiked the day previously. We wandered around dropping rocks off the bridges into the water below. we Hiked down to the edge of the raging river. I showed him how the currents were flowing around the rocks why the white water was dangerous. Tossing big sticks and logs into the white water. Watching them flow down the water falls and smashing into the rocks. We found a small piece of jade on the beach while we were rock hounding. Its all treasure to us, i have a pile of "treasure" that we have collected along our hikes. Little things we have picked up along the way in our travels. Meaningless to anyone else but priceless to me. We climbed out of the canyon back up to the trestles. Got back to the truck and made our way towards home. Stopped for a small lunch at McDonald's (blech!) He was happy though. I called his mom and told her we were close to town and that she could meet us at the 7/11 to pick him up.
The last 15 minutes of our adventure was again precious. His mom managed to be 20 minutes later to meet us 5 minutes from their place. I suppose being a day away from giving birth is a good enough reason to be as late as she wanted. I didn't mind, it meant more Jerry time for me. Jerry and i had an incredible weekend. This was a very special time for him and me. Not only was everything we did meaningful and fun but it was also the last weekend Jerry would be an only child. Tomorrow his mom is going to have a baby girl and Jerry is going to be a big brother. We talked about it lots and he was nervous/excited and not sure if he was ready. I held him while we waited for his mom. His eyes are so warm and his heart so big. I know Jerry is going to be a great big brother. That he will take good care of his little sister. I am so proud of him i could burst. My boy is growing up so fast i scramble to enjoy him as it slips away from my reach. Jerry if you ever read this I love you. Right or wrong, screwing up or doing the right thing I am in your corner for life. I will be there without hesitation. Together we will own this existence. So with Jerry driving away and me with another hour on the road home. I turned on some music and pondered the days to come.
Recalling the wish i had made on the first night of our journey, and the fact it came true. Made me realise again that to find the magic in the world you have to sort of help it along. Call me delusional but my life is full of magic. Peace.....
Driving home from work Thursday afternoon anticipating my little man's embrace and his "Hi DAD!". I started to contemplate what we should do together on this special three day Father and son weekend. I had a hellish couple of weeks, I took on some pretty stressful situations, things that would have left me laid out under a blanket hiding from the world a few years prior. I had overworked myself doing side jobs as a part of it all too. Basically I was spent, but knew i had this little boy looking forward to being with his Dad. I consider our time together as our adventure, its my duty to help make it great. Even though i had already worked all day and was sick of driving, we would go to my parents place. I figured road trip or camping and camping involves driving anyways plus a lot of other packing planning etc... no thanks. My parents place is a bit of a road trip but i knew once i got there it would be relaxing, plus Jerry needed some face time with his grandparents. Little did i know how great this was going to be.
I picked my little man at about 7pm, after getting my stuff ready (laundry) and driving out to get him we had about 2 hours of light left to enjoy the mountains. When his mom's vehicle pulls up my heart always skips a beat. the last few seconds before i get my hug i been waiting for what seems like forever are quite long in fact. He dives on me and we giggle alot. I get him loaded up and off we go. As we go i hear all about the serious business it is to be a seven year old trying to keep in mind to him this IS serious stuff. We drive up the #5 highway enjoying the mountains. I have driven it many times and i still get pumped about going through there. When the sun goes down we spot the first star of the night and make wish's.( i wont tell you mine but it came true) He plays his nintendo and i concentrate on driving. Just being near him makes me beam, I feel as though nothing else around me exists or matters. As the road winds through hills and valley's it gets darker than he has ever really experienced so we pull over. We jump out and the sky is littered with stars. His gasps and squeals add to my already goofy grin. We sit in the dark in the middle of nowhere, sky watching contemplating aliens and pokemon. Not far now we are almost there. After another 30 minutes or so we arrive at my parents place, My parents are ready for bed and so are we. Me and Jerry hang on the couch for a bit exhausted from the journey. We drag our stuff into our room and after about 3 minutes both sleeping soundly. I wake up to him poking me in the ribs at 8am. "Dad.... I'M LIKE RUBBER YOUR LIKE GLUE!!!" It a goofy game we play, who ever says it first each day owns it. So even when i phone him he answers like that. Little bugger. Juvenile i know but that just makes it more funner. (yea i know) Its earlier than i normally get up for work on any given day but i drag my ass out of bed. Grandma is at work cause its Friday but Grandpa is there. We all grab our morning gear and sit out on the deck in the sun. Its pretty warm up there so its nice. I got my tea and my guitar Jerry had his juice and grandpa with his coffee. All set to start relaxing. Couple hours go by and we all pile in to grandpa's truck to go visit grandma at the coffee shop. A proud grandma showing off her only grandson that she hasn't seen for almost 8 months was another sight to see. Jerry groans about her enthusiasm but secretly loves the attention. We leave after our lunch and go to the beach with my little sister. (my parents answer to their boys leaving home) Ruby loves the water, i think that's the lab in her. Jerry gets jealous and wants to go into the water with her but doesn't have shorts. So three seconds later he is in the water in his boxers. Splashing around throwing sticks for ruby and me skipping rocks on the water. Serene peace everywhere. Left the beach and went back to the house to be lazy. Jerry doesn't get to play video games all the time so i let him play his nintendo and i sat back and hung with grandpa. Not much more happened other than alot of over eating and laying about for the rest of the evening.Day 2
I woke up to an elbow in the face, he was still sleeping. So i promptly poked him in the ribs and said," Jerry......." As softly as i could, when he started to stir i boisterously announced, " IM LIKE RUBBER YOUR LIKE GLUE!!!!!!" He awoke with a groan. Me with a smile. Jerry decided he wanted to go hiking today. Zombie hunting/treasure hunting/general chaos/hiking is more like it. Grandpa had a good idea to go see the Myra canyon train trestles.
None of us had ever been there so it would be a good thing to all experience together for the first time. Google is a wonderful thing its has the answers for everything. To bad i dont pay close enough attention to minor details like where exactly it is and how to get there. We got a bit lost on the way there. Amazingly enough we did ask for directions. Cept asking inbred red neck white trash isnt always all that helpful. But we managed to find the logging road we had to traverse to get there. 8 kilometers up a narrow gravel road to the parking lot.This place was very cool. A few years ago an enormous forest fire swept through the area wiping out most of the trees.They called it a firestorm, It was an environment that neither of us had hiked before so that was another bonus. A bunch of the train trestles were burned down but had been restored and were about to be re opened and finished in a couple of months. It was the perfect time to go see them there wasn't a ton of people there. 15 kilometers of the old kettle valley railway was ready to be explored on foot or by bicycle. Its a great place to hike. Trains don't do steep inclines and neither do I very well. The side of the trail most of the way drops about 500' or more into a canyon. There is no guard rail along most of it and the view is great. So someone gets the great idea to start dropping huge boulders down the cliffs and we all have fun watching the carnage. A squirrel walks right out to all of us as if it was starving and we were its last hope. With a dog and everything it came up to me. I had no food for him so we snapped a couple pics and off it went
Further down the trail we explored the rocks and cliff side. It had become very brittle from the fire. The colors on the rocks were kind of weird in places too. I can only imagine thats another result of the fire, cool reds and oranges burnt right into the cliffs and surviving trees. The standing dead tree's made the landscape look like a war zone at times. We pressed on, gettin to the first tunnel was cool, the trail made a bend around a corner and hidden in the trees was a tunnel. Almost like a dragons lair it appeared spooky.
Not a very long one but still it added to the experience. Jerry spent most of the day running up and down the trail. I swear he hiked twice as far as we did. I told him what i knew about the history of the rail road and he seemed interested. We talked about the bandits that held up trains and the way the people had to blast the mountain side away to get the train through. I love watching his mind work.
Teaching my son to not fear life and to explore it voraciously. Years past he was afraid of heights and wouldn't have walked over these bridges. This day however we walked on the part that had huge gaps, so we could see through to the cliffs below.Vertigo is a cool feeling, learn to go with it and everything is fine, Fear it and remain to paralyzed to enjoy the wonderful beauty that is being on the top of a mountain. Through the tunnels and over the bridges we walked a total of about 7 kilometers in 4 hours. Starving we left for home. The best was yet to come....
I found my spot on the back porch, from there we could see the mountain we had hiked all day. A beautiful lake nestled at the base, and a sunset in the mountains. Drinking my tea and playing my guitar again we all sat around talking. Then a little girl popped her head over the fence in the backyard. "Who is that over there?" she asked. We giggled and i yelled back, " That's Jerry, come on over and hang out with him!" His face turned red and he glared at me. But i knew he was cool with that idea. So two little girls from over the back fence came over to check him out. One was 7 , Jerry's age and the other was 5. Amanda and Allie and Jerry all stood in a small circle arms folded kicking the dirt introducing each other. I don't usually get to see my little man play with his friends. This made my heart melt. At first they were all timid and sort of shy, but they all wanted the same thing. Soon the squeals of joy were filling the air as they ran around the yard. Jerry managed to get Amanda to push the hammock for him. She was trying to flip him over in it. It was a great sight to see. I know he is partial to blonde's and he was in paradise. The innocents of a little boy and little girl meeting and becoming fast friends will stay with me forever. Its part of the reason i write this now, I never want to forget
Her mom popped her head over the fence and asked the girls what they were doing. So i introduced myself and told her it was OK with us if it was OK with her. They played down in the yard on the hammock. Shoes kicked off and toys littered the yard i never knew so much fun could be had with a hammock. It was dinner time so i called Jerry up and told Amanda that she had to wait for him. We washed up and sat down for dinner. Jerry was so not interested in being there. During the meal my Dad gave me a look motioning me to look in the yard. There was Amanda standing in the bushes sort of hiding, waiting patiently for Jerry to go back down and play. He didn't see her standing there but we did. I fed him a pile pretty quickly and let him go off to play. I know how it is. Food wasn't on his mind his new friend was. They played till it got dark then we all came inside to play cards. Amanda, Jerry, me, my mother and my grandmother all played a card game for 75 cents each. Jerry won two times in a row. He shared his winnings with his new girl.
They were both hilarious to watch. Her mom called and she had to go home and it was close to Jerry's bed time so the game ended. Jerry and I played the rematch to our first tournament on mario cart. This time i won, which bothered him a great deal. hehehe i loved that, now we were tied. I stood in the hallway after tucking him in. He didn't know i was there. I watched as he played with his hands in the air. Laying there he looked so peaceful so innocent. His view of the world is untarnished. I stared as his eye lids became heavy and he drifted off. The perfect end to the perfect day. I found myself a quiet corner to sit in and soak up the day i just had. Savoring every detail of it. Money cant buy experiences like these. "IM LIKE RUBBER YOUR LIKE GLUE!!!" my head is fuzzy, "Huh?" i ask not knowing what just hit me. But Score another point for Jerry. He got me again. I groaned and pinned him down. We laid in bed talking about yesterday talking about Amanda. He asked me 10 times if i thought she was cool. I giggled and told him he was the man. I wandered upstairs and Jerry went looking for his friend. Who just happened to be standing right next to the fence ready to hop over at 8:30am. They picked up where they had left off. I drank my tea with a birds eye view of the two of them in the back yard. The morning rays of sun beating down on me felt like a soft blanket. Sore from the hike and tired from trying to keep up with the energy of a seven year old i stretched and groaned. I eventually wandered down and chased the kids around a bit. Pushing them in the hammock of unlimited fun. The smiles and giggling continued.Soon after I packed all our things up. Jerry and Amanda said their goodbye's. She asked for his number, and being the little man that he is he gave it to her. Didn't get hers though so she will have to call him. I high fived him and we said good bye to my folks and hopped in the van for the return trip home. Jerry didn't talk much on the way home. All he wanted to do was play his nintendo. I listened to music and sang to him, he hated that. On the way home we decided to stop at another of our favorite hiking places the Othello tunnels. Its basically more tunnels and train trestles just further along the same line we had hiked the day previously. We wandered around dropping rocks off the bridges into the water below. we Hiked down to the edge of the raging river. I showed him how the currents were flowing around the rocks why the white water was dangerous. Tossing big sticks and logs into the white water. Watching them flow down the water falls and smashing into the rocks. We found a small piece of jade on the beach while we were rock hounding. Its all treasure to us, i have a pile of "treasure" that we have collected along our hikes. Little things we have picked up along the way in our travels. Meaningless to anyone else but priceless to me. We climbed out of the canyon back up to the trestles. Got back to the truck and made our way towards home. Stopped for a small lunch at McDonald's (blech!) He was happy though. I called his mom and told her we were close to town and that she could meet us at the 7/11 to pick him up.
The last 15 minutes of our adventure was again precious. His mom managed to be 20 minutes later to meet us 5 minutes from their place. I suppose being a day away from giving birth is a good enough reason to be as late as she wanted. I didn't mind, it meant more Jerry time for me. Jerry and i had an incredible weekend. This was a very special time for him and me. Not only was everything we did meaningful and fun but it was also the last weekend Jerry would be an only child. Tomorrow his mom is going to have a baby girl and Jerry is going to be a big brother. We talked about it lots and he was nervous/excited and not sure if he was ready. I held him while we waited for his mom. His eyes are so warm and his heart so big. I know Jerry is going to be a great big brother. That he will take good care of his little sister. I am so proud of him i could burst. My boy is growing up so fast i scramble to enjoy him as it slips away from my reach. Jerry if you ever read this I love you. Right or wrong, screwing up or doing the right thing I am in your corner for life. I will be there without hesitation. Together we will own this existence. So with Jerry driving away and me with another hour on the road home. I turned on some music and pondered the days to come.
Recalling the wish i had made on the first night of our journey, and the fact it came true. Made me realise again that to find the magic in the world you have to sort of help it along. Call me delusional but my life is full of magic. Peace.....
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Who needs money when im wealthier than Bill Gates
I'm so happy lately,I'm sure people around me think I'm irritating. The world just cant get me down. I feel like Teflon these days. Today couldn't have been better from start to finish. All in all i made memories today that will definitely last a lifetime for me and Jerry.Me and Jerry have this game we play. Whoever says," I'm like rubber , your like glue!" to the other person first, that's how it is. Juvenile i know but hey go be serious on your own time. So this morning when i sorta woke up at 6 am i poked Jerry in the ribs," Hey Jerry!!" "Yea Dad?" he mumbles through closed eyes grumpily. "I'm like rubber your like glue!!!" i say to him. He doesn't skip a beat "Oh Dad you always win." We both fall back to sleep and wake up a few hours later.
Laying in bed i rolled over and he was quietly reading a book beside me. He could have gone and played video games on my computer or done whatever but he wanted to be Right beside me. We wrestled for almost an hour . Laying there being goofy talking about life and stuff. Got up and i showed him the art my Dad had drawn in a sketch pad. The sketch book was almost 25 years old and there is plenty of blank pages left in it. For me and my son to draw in. So i got him working on that for me.
Look at his hand , that's a guy who gets into his art. Then after hanging out in our pj's for a couple hours we went for breakfast. Where i tried to con him into putting a big drop of tabasco sauce on his tongue for 5 bucks. No dice, which is probably a good thing considering i would have had to pay him and listen to him whine about it. then off we went. I didn't really have anything planned but recently at work i had driven past a cool hydro electric dam i had never been to. Me and Jerry buckled up and off we went. The park around the dam was cool. We walked to where the water was pouring out of the dam and looked. It was pretty neat, then of course someone got the great idea that we should throw really big Branch's off the side and watch them fall. So we did that for awhile. All these people standing around watching me and him do this, was to funny. People are weird, life isn't supposed to be taken so seriously. It wasn't like we threw the garbage cans from the park down there. ( might have if they weren't there)
Then just down the road from that there was another touristy attraction i had never been to before. The capilano suspension bridge, about a 100' up its a fairly sturdy bridge. Hard to get swaying, not to say i didn't manage to get it moving. We entered that park and found a lot more than just a bridge full of Asian tourists. When you cross the bridge you get to wander all around these wooden board walks through the forest. Plus a major bonus, some of them were high up in the tree's. Like the ewoks in star wars as Jerry pointed out. That was actually worth the price of admission. It was a lot of fun and i will be going back there. a friend of mine once told me she thought of me and Jerry as a couple of 7 year olds cept one happened to get a drivers license. Our a d d kicked in hard again so we left that park too.
He was whining for food but i knew better, we got a small snack and off we went to a favorite park of mine. If you ever get to go to Vancouver go to lighthouse park its worth the effort. Me and Jerry meandered through old growth to the beach. Where we came out of the forest we were perched on top of a rather rocky coastline. The view is great, but its a bit treacherous if your not careful. So we wandered around the cliffs laughing and giggling, making our way to the ocean down below. We looked in the small tidal pools at the critters and we found some good beach treasure. An old chain used for logging and some other precious things. I spotted a couple of my most favorite trees in the world and wanted to get a closer look and some pics.(arbutus trees) So off we went up the cliffs. Not on traditional trails or anything. We climbed all over the rocks, up ,down ,sideways and back again. I let him show off where he could and got serious when it was warranted. I taught him about the dangers of taking unnecessary risks. That it was OK to be a team and help each other. It doesn't mean your a bad climber, in fact it makes you a better climber. I snapped a ton a great pictures all day, and some little videos. The pics kind of made me want to write this blog. They were all taken today, the ones above and below.
All in all it was a fricken awesome day. One that i will not soon forget. I think its times like these that make me happy to be alive. I couldn't have planned a more perfect day if i had unlimited time and funds. Jerry is my partner in crime and my adventure seeking friend. Not just my son, my reason to be alive. As for what tomorrow may bring who knows, although its getting harder and harder to top these great things we do. I love you Jerry, here's to the future.
There is more pics posted at http://s230.photobucket.com/albums/ee105/souldoubtt/
PS: A puppy dies every time you read a blog and don't leave a comment, think about the puppies!
Friday, February 29, 2008
Thoughts like bubbles popping in my head
Like most people i complain about my job alot. It is a drag most of the time. Without it however i think i would go crazy.In a warped twilight zone sort of way it completes my life. It gives me a chance to view random madness on a daily basis.
Im a plumber. Most people when they hear that they immediately think of toilets then shit and then think eww what a shitty job, Pardon the pun. Sure i have seen the poop more than once but its not the norm for a day at work for me. Work starts at 9AM so being the morning person that i am i get up at about 8:55 on a good day (truthfully 9:06) then with my mind still asleep and my body hurling its self towards clothes i start my day. On more than one occasion i have worn my shirt backwards and inside out. I call my boss and get my first address and few other details and off i go. Off i go to where exactly? Thats just it, i spend my days going into peoples homes and offices. I get
to see places in peoples homes they dont even go into. Its always random. I see how people live, i get to snoop in their bedrooms, closets, secret hiding spots. One time an older lady and I were looking around her ensuite bathroom tryin to figure out what she had to do for a renovation. I had to poke around lookin in closets for access panels etc. She opened her one closet up and nothing special, then she moved a few things and opened an access panel up to see under the tub in the bathroom next to us. Low and behold if she hadnt forgotten thats where she hides the monster box of dildo's vibrators and other fun things to show strangers in your home. We both stopped dead in our tracks staring at this mammoth sized box of pleasure. No one said a word, not a giggle, nothing. Then she just started talking again about what we were doing. I continued talking about the reno but that moment of awkward ,oops omg what the fuck do i say now feeling was truely hilarious. Another time i was helping my boss fix a leak in an apartment building and the tenants were all sitting around the kitchen table smoking crack. "Hey man you wanna hit?" uhh no thanks i choose life. One of my all time favorites. I go to this non descript apartment building to repair a kitchen sink faucet. I get there and two little old ladies are sitting at the kitchen table. Two 75 plus years, cookie baking, virginal (I have to think that way) grandma's. After a few minutes i realised that quite obviously they have simply loosened the spray handle and called a plumber. Then they go into the benefits to having sex with older women who's husbands are long dead and all they want is a good shag. At this point I'm stunned, completely lost for words. Usually I'm a smart ass, i always have something sarcastic to say(Hard to believe i know but its true) So I'm standing in this kitchen lost for words and they wont let up. I tried to be as nice as possible but i did that call for free and got the hell out of there. My boss later laughed at me...asshole All sorts of random stuff happening to me all day long.It gives my life spice.The work i am doing is mindless usually its the people and places i get to see that make it intresting.
Then Wednesday happened. My boss and I went to an apartment building to look at what needed to be fixed in 8 fire damaged suites. We get there and start wandering around the building. We arrive at suite 102 open the door and it was like turning on a TV, life became surreal." He's not breathing call 911!" Is what i hear as the door is opening. Peering past my boss i see two feet sticking out from around a corner. We both start dialing 911 so i stop calling and let my boss call. Theres a guy laying on the floor receiving CPR from some other guy. Its all happening so fast, like a blur. My boss is closer to them than i am and the guy doing CPR tells him to take over for a minute. I decide i cant do much here but i can at least go outside and guide the ambulance to him when they get here faster. So i run to the front. In less that 5 minutes theres a fire truck and 2 ambulances. I run them to him and get out of the way. I turned into a door stop and held the door open for them to come and go. There was a small army of people in there. They worked on him for about 45 minutes. I stood there like i was made of stone watching. Watching them put tubes down his throat trying desperately to revive him. Deep inside it didn't seem real, for some reason it seemed like a no brainer that this guy would get up and be saved. I mean that's how it happens on TV most of the time right? It was shocking to see them put a blanket on him and stop trying. Not that they didn't everything they could. I felt sick, numb, removed from my body almost the whole time. I hung around in a daze for another hour and a half. Then when i saw the cops show up i decided that i had to leave before i got stuck there for another 2 hours. Told my boss that i was useless to him for the rest of the day.
What had happened wasn't abnormal. Where there is life there is death. A very inescapable, normal part of life. For some it would be simply another day at the office. I feel sad for those people. To me it jumped up inside me and festered for awhile. Its still rather fresh. At first i was kind of horrified but i decided if i have to accept the good in life i have to accept the bad as well. It has shaken me up but i would like to try and twist it into something good. Life is not cheap, its precious. I don't want to get so wrapped up in petty useless time wasting things that i ever forget that. Life is not meant to be great everyday that's not reality. Most things can be taken many different ways, proving that its mostly my reaction to whatever happens to me. Not what actually happened. Chalk it up to yet another colorful life experience and get me on my way. I'm sad for the poor mans family. But i hope this guy lived his life how he wanted and smiled as often as he could have. Id like to say that i hope that about all my friends family and random strangers that may read this. I hope life is colorful and with a variety of wild and crazy experiences. for now I take a second to brace myself for whatever weirdness i may encounter before i go for that fateful knock at the door. " Mom there is some weird looking guy carrying a tray full of tools knocking on our door should i let him in?"
PS: A puppy dies every time you read my blog and don't leave a comment.
Im a plumber. Most people when they hear that they immediately think of toilets then shit and then think eww what a shitty job, Pardon the pun. Sure i have seen the poop more than once but its not the norm for a day at work for me. Work starts at 9AM so being the morning person that i am i get up at about 8:55 on a good day (truthfully 9:06) then with my mind still asleep and my body hurling its self towards clothes i start my day. On more than one occasion i have worn my shirt backwards and inside out. I call my boss and get my first address and few other details and off i go. Off i go to where exactly? Thats just it, i spend my days going into peoples homes and offices. I get
to see places in peoples homes they dont even go into. Its always random. I see how people live, i get to snoop in their bedrooms, closets, secret hiding spots. One time an older lady and I were looking around her ensuite bathroom tryin to figure out what she had to do for a renovation. I had to poke around lookin in closets for access panels etc. She opened her one closet up and nothing special, then she moved a few things and opened an access panel up to see under the tub in the bathroom next to us. Low and behold if she hadnt forgotten thats where she hides the monster box of dildo's vibrators and other fun things to show strangers in your home. We both stopped dead in our tracks staring at this mammoth sized box of pleasure. No one said a word, not a giggle, nothing. Then she just started talking again about what we were doing. I continued talking about the reno but that moment of awkward ,oops omg what the fuck do i say now feeling was truely hilarious. Another time i was helping my boss fix a leak in an apartment building and the tenants were all sitting around the kitchen table smoking crack. "Hey man you wanna hit?" uhh no thanks i choose life. One of my all time favorites. I go to this non descript apartment building to repair a kitchen sink faucet. I get there and two little old ladies are sitting at the kitchen table. Two 75 plus years, cookie baking, virginal (I have to think that way) grandma's. After a few minutes i realised that quite obviously they have simply loosened the spray handle and called a plumber. Then they go into the benefits to having sex with older women who's husbands are long dead and all they want is a good shag. At this point I'm stunned, completely lost for words. Usually I'm a smart ass, i always have something sarcastic to say(Hard to believe i know but its true) So I'm standing in this kitchen lost for words and they wont let up. I tried to be as nice as possible but i did that call for free and got the hell out of there. My boss later laughed at me...asshole All sorts of random stuff happening to me all day long.It gives my life spice.The work i am doing is mindless usually its the people and places i get to see that make it intresting.
Then Wednesday happened. My boss and I went to an apartment building to look at what needed to be fixed in 8 fire damaged suites. We get there and start wandering around the building. We arrive at suite 102 open the door and it was like turning on a TV, life became surreal." He's not breathing call 911!" Is what i hear as the door is opening. Peering past my boss i see two feet sticking out from around a corner. We both start dialing 911 so i stop calling and let my boss call. Theres a guy laying on the floor receiving CPR from some other guy. Its all happening so fast, like a blur. My boss is closer to them than i am and the guy doing CPR tells him to take over for a minute. I decide i cant do much here but i can at least go outside and guide the ambulance to him when they get here faster. So i run to the front. In less that 5 minutes theres a fire truck and 2 ambulances. I run them to him and get out of the way. I turned into a door stop and held the door open for them to come and go. There was a small army of people in there. They worked on him for about 45 minutes. I stood there like i was made of stone watching. Watching them put tubes down his throat trying desperately to revive him. Deep inside it didn't seem real, for some reason it seemed like a no brainer that this guy would get up and be saved. I mean that's how it happens on TV most of the time right? It was shocking to see them put a blanket on him and stop trying. Not that they didn't everything they could. I felt sick, numb, removed from my body almost the whole time. I hung around in a daze for another hour and a half. Then when i saw the cops show up i decided that i had to leave before i got stuck there for another 2 hours. Told my boss that i was useless to him for the rest of the day.
What had happened wasn't abnormal. Where there is life there is death. A very inescapable, normal part of life. For some it would be simply another day at the office. I feel sad for those people. To me it jumped up inside me and festered for awhile. Its still rather fresh. At first i was kind of horrified but i decided if i have to accept the good in life i have to accept the bad as well. It has shaken me up but i would like to try and twist it into something good. Life is not cheap, its precious. I don't want to get so wrapped up in petty useless time wasting things that i ever forget that. Life is not meant to be great everyday that's not reality. Most things can be taken many different ways, proving that its mostly my reaction to whatever happens to me. Not what actually happened. Chalk it up to yet another colorful life experience and get me on my way. I'm sad for the poor mans family. But i hope this guy lived his life how he wanted and smiled as often as he could have. Id like to say that i hope that about all my friends family and random strangers that may read this. I hope life is colorful and with a variety of wild and crazy experiences. for now I take a second to brace myself for whatever weirdness i may encounter before i go for that fateful knock at the door. " Mom there is some weird looking guy carrying a tray full of tools knocking on our door should i let him in?"
PS: A puppy dies every time you read my blog and don't leave a comment.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Proof that i am normal....
In the context of behaviour, what is normal? I hear the word alot and have never really examined it to close. lets take a ride...
Well armed with that question i went to my place of worship and asked my god for the answer. Google sent me to wikipedia (the son of my god). As always the great and mighty wikipedia gave me exactly what i was looking for, " In behavior, normal refers to a lack of significant deviation from the average. The phrase "not normal" is often applied in a negative sense (asserting that someone or some situation is improper, sick, etc.) "A lack of significant deviation from the average" That sounds like a disorder to me. Next question; What is average? Am i to assume that average is the people i encounter on a daily basis? If i was to do that i would have to see average as pretty much anything and everything that a person can feel,do say and act. So its average to be any human emotion or in any condition. The people i see daily range from all walks of life, from all types of social status. They all look different and they act, smell and im guessing taste different. Where does that leave us on this little quest for answers? It is normal to be anything, THATS the norm. I cant see any flaws in my analysis. Humans are emotional creatures. Without emotion we would be so boring that we might as well nuke ourselves off the planet. Harsh i know, but its true. People giggle when i say im normal and dont believe me but its true and i proved it!!!
Fuck it, its time to get naked wet our bodies down and dose ourselves with purple koolaid mix. Meet me in the fountain downtown!! ill see you there.....
Well armed with that question i went to my place of worship and asked my god for the answer. Google sent me to wikipedia (the son of my god). As always the great and mighty wikipedia gave me exactly what i was looking for, " In behavior, normal refers to a lack of significant deviation from the average. The phrase "not normal" is often applied in a negative sense (asserting that someone or some situation is improper, sick, etc.) "A lack of significant deviation from the average" That sounds like a disorder to me. Next question; What is average? Am i to assume that average is the people i encounter on a daily basis? If i was to do that i would have to see average as pretty much anything and everything that a person can feel,do say and act. So its average to be any human emotion or in any condition. The people i see daily range from all walks of life, from all types of social status. They all look different and they act, smell and im guessing taste different. Where does that leave us on this little quest for answers? It is normal to be anything, THATS the norm. I cant see any flaws in my analysis. Humans are emotional creatures. Without emotion we would be so boring that we might as well nuke ourselves off the planet. Harsh i know, but its true. People giggle when i say im normal and dont believe me but its true and i proved it!!!
Fuck it, its time to get naked wet our bodies down and dose ourselves with purple koolaid mix. Meet me in the fountain downtown!! ill see you there.....
Saturday, November 3, 2007
My poor mother
I was born at a young age. I started walking at about 10 months and i was speaking full sentences at about a year. My poor mother (a phrase i will be repeating) wasn't really equipped to deal with the sort of energy i had back then. I'm not sure many people could have handled me. I'm not really aware of the order of events here but that's not really important so ill be kind of all over the place, please bare with me as i share a few of my mis adventures.
My mother not being very well endowed and kind of self conscious about it would take me on the bus where ever we needed to go. I was kind of a loud individual, i guess i would yell at the top of my lungs," My mom has boobs!" She would freak and try to slink into her seat and hide. Not really sure why i said it but i must have been amused because i did it on more than one occasion I liked the bus and the people around me id always talk to strangers and stare out the window looking at trucks and things. One time i turned around and there was a man sitting directly behind us. I looked up at him and i was shocked," You have no hair," I said to the man. Him and my mother chuckling to themselves at the silly things kids say. He acted all shocked and touched his head,"What really?" I'm sure he thought he was being funny. "Your ugly!" I replied to him. My mother squirmed at that point i am sure. On many occasions i did and said things so embarrassing she would simply have to get off at the next stop and call her sister to come pick her up or wait for another bus.
I was a busy little man most of the time. I figured out how to take my crib apart when i was really little. Baby jail wasn't holding me for long. I could unscrew the bars on it and climb out on my own. So one morning when i woke up predawn. I unscrewed the bars and made my way to the front door. My parents sleeping in their room quietly had no idea. I pushed a chair up to the door unlocked the chain, dead bolt and popped the lock on the handle. I knew there was a playground close by and didn't want to bother my parents asking if i could go out. After some time passed my mom wakes up in the morning to find the door ajar and me missing from my room. Oh the panic that must have struck her heart. Freaking out she ran from room to room looking for me, but i was nowhere to be found. Running up to the window she looked outside only to see me. In my diaper riding a swing smiling away happily," Hi mom, oh your awake." My poor mother...
Another time i woke her up by running into her room screaming as loud as my poor little lungs could. She looks up at me asking," Dale whats wrong" All i can do is continue to scream with my eyes squeezed shut as hard as i could. "Open your eyes Dale, look at me, whats wrong," She is still half asleep but her mind is racing. I open my eyes and they are both completely black. Now she is sitting up confused and worried,"Dale what did you do?!?" Well for some reason i had escaped in the morning early again and went into the kitchen and poured pepper in BOTH my eyes. Not just one, but both of them. Not even a little, i had blacked out both my eyes. She grabbed me and rushed me into the kitchen and held my head in the sink rinsing my face till it cleared up. I will never quite understand why or how i managed that one but its par for the course really. The Dr told her i could have gone blind if she hadn't cleaned my eyes out as fast as she did. My poor mother......
Another time i was staying at my aunt and uncles place for the weekend. Having no kids themselves it was fun for them to take me on. I always liked going there it was like Christmas. Although the whole kids behave around others better than around their parents didn't really hold true from me. I'm not sure why but i hid my aunts keys in a sak of potatoes. They looked everywhere for hours, only to find them after the locksmith had already come out and made new keys for everything costing a fair chunk of change. I just recently heard this story for the first time, its great. My aunt and uncle were sleeping when my aunt woke up because she heard something downstairs. Jabbing my uncle in the ribs to go look, he got up and wandered down. Quietly he crept through the place, he could also hear something, but not having kids being half asleep and forgetting i was even there he was quite concerned. He spies a light on in the kitchen so he sneaks towards it. The fridge is open and he cant see anyone so he sneaks around the to the other side of the kitchen thinking he is about to happen upon this prowler. He jumps around the corner only to find me standing there naked. I had taken all my clothes off and found a big can of purple koolaid mix. Wet my body and poured it all over me, "Hi uncle Mike I'M PURPLE!" i said as pleased with myself as could be. All he could do was laugh and go grab my aunt to see the mess i had created. I was bad ass.
One time when i was really little, my mother took me to another one of my relatives homes. They had just bought this house and we were going to see it. The yard there wasn't quite finished being landscaped so there was alot of dirt and mud there. I managed to get away from her and run off into the largest puddle i could find. Off I went to the middle and sat right down. Every attempt to get close to me was met with alot of frustration as i kept splashing anything that came near me. After a few tries my mom finally gave up and let me sit there. Makes me proud to know i have always been a pain.
There was also the time i lived above my other aunt and her roommate. I think i was about 4 at the time. I have no idea what came over me but i had decided to insert the hose into their mail slot that went through the door.Oh you know what came next, i turned the hose on full blast and walked away. Wouldn't have been so bad if someone was home to stop it but that wasn't the case. My aunt returned home from work hours later only to find a huge pool of water coming out her front door. Of course i denied it but with my track record it didn't go over well. A few weeks later they had left their door unlocked and i snuck in a found a black felt pen and doodled on everything in her place. Her roommate hated me and i cant blame her i would have hated me too. Good thing i was cute when i was little i may not have survived my youth.
I had another aunt that lived next door to us in a different house. ( I do have lots of aunts and uncles) Anyways they weren't home one day and my cousin diane was over. We were outside playing and started to get bored. Diane tells me that she wants to play with the toys in my aunts place next door and being the helpful little tot that i, was decided to figure out a way inside. Checked all the windows and doors with no luck. So i grabbed a rock and walked towards the patio sliding door. SMASH! Our entry made alot of noise, so much so that my dad sleeping next door heard it and came running over and caught us inside playing with the toys. hehhehe again i tried to deny it but no luck. Geez i could go on and on. My poor mother, im surprised her hair isnt more grey than it is. Around Christmas time my parents had to go somewhere and needed a sitter. She had a friends place with kids so off i went to stay the weekend there. I grew up with these kids so i was having a great time. They had their christmas tree up with presents under it.Now i wasnt used to that because my mother knew better than to keep presents out in the open like that. Well after the first night i just couldnt help myself, i got up real early. Before anyone else in the house. Made my way over to the booty just sitting there in the open. Well a little while later my mother gets a call from her friend saying , "Come get your bastard child from our house NOW!" I had opened every present under the tree, and was playing with all the toys having a great time. They had gifts people from out of town had sent. They werent even sure who's was what. I know i know your all thinking how could I have done any of these things. But its true i was a wee bit of a handful when i was little. I still know that family i did that too and we are good friends. Again my poor mother.....
My mother not being very well endowed and kind of self conscious about it would take me on the bus where ever we needed to go. I was kind of a loud individual, i guess i would yell at the top of my lungs," My mom has boobs!" She would freak and try to slink into her seat and hide. Not really sure why i said it but i must have been amused because i did it on more than one occasion I liked the bus and the people around me id always talk to strangers and stare out the window looking at trucks and things. One time i turned around and there was a man sitting directly behind us. I looked up at him and i was shocked," You have no hair," I said to the man. Him and my mother chuckling to themselves at the silly things kids say. He acted all shocked and touched his head,"What really?" I'm sure he thought he was being funny. "Your ugly!" I replied to him. My mother squirmed at that point i am sure. On many occasions i did and said things so embarrassing she would simply have to get off at the next stop and call her sister to come pick her up or wait for another bus.
I was a busy little man most of the time. I figured out how to take my crib apart when i was really little. Baby jail wasn't holding me for long. I could unscrew the bars on it and climb out on my own. So one morning when i woke up predawn. I unscrewed the bars and made my way to the front door. My parents sleeping in their room quietly had no idea. I pushed a chair up to the door unlocked the chain, dead bolt and popped the lock on the handle. I knew there was a playground close by and didn't want to bother my parents asking if i could go out. After some time passed my mom wakes up in the morning to find the door ajar and me missing from my room. Oh the panic that must have struck her heart. Freaking out she ran from room to room looking for me, but i was nowhere to be found. Running up to the window she looked outside only to see me. In my diaper riding a swing smiling away happily," Hi mom, oh your awake." My poor mother...
Another time i woke her up by running into her room screaming as loud as my poor little lungs could. She looks up at me asking," Dale whats wrong" All i can do is continue to scream with my eyes squeezed shut as hard as i could. "Open your eyes Dale, look at me, whats wrong," She is still half asleep but her mind is racing. I open my eyes and they are both completely black. Now she is sitting up confused and worried,"Dale what did you do?!?" Well for some reason i had escaped in the morning early again and went into the kitchen and poured pepper in BOTH my eyes. Not just one, but both of them. Not even a little, i had blacked out both my eyes. She grabbed me and rushed me into the kitchen and held my head in the sink rinsing my face till it cleared up. I will never quite understand why or how i managed that one but its par for the course really. The Dr told her i could have gone blind if she hadn't cleaned my eyes out as fast as she did. My poor mother......
Another time i was staying at my aunt and uncles place for the weekend. Having no kids themselves it was fun for them to take me on. I always liked going there it was like Christmas. Although the whole kids behave around others better than around their parents didn't really hold true from me. I'm not sure why but i hid my aunts keys in a sak of potatoes. They looked everywhere for hours, only to find them after the locksmith had already come out and made new keys for everything costing a fair chunk of change. I just recently heard this story for the first time, its great. My aunt and uncle were sleeping when my aunt woke up because she heard something downstairs. Jabbing my uncle in the ribs to go look, he got up and wandered down. Quietly he crept through the place, he could also hear something, but not having kids being half asleep and forgetting i was even there he was quite concerned. He spies a light on in the kitchen so he sneaks towards it. The fridge is open and he cant see anyone so he sneaks around the to the other side of the kitchen thinking he is about to happen upon this prowler. He jumps around the corner only to find me standing there naked. I had taken all my clothes off and found a big can of purple koolaid mix. Wet my body and poured it all over me, "Hi uncle Mike I'M PURPLE!" i said as pleased with myself as could be. All he could do was laugh and go grab my aunt to see the mess i had created. I was bad ass.
One time when i was really little, my mother took me to another one of my relatives homes. They had just bought this house and we were going to see it. The yard there wasn't quite finished being landscaped so there was alot of dirt and mud there. I managed to get away from her and run off into the largest puddle i could find. Off I went to the middle and sat right down. Every attempt to get close to me was met with alot of frustration as i kept splashing anything that came near me. After a few tries my mom finally gave up and let me sit there. Makes me proud to know i have always been a pain.
There was also the time i lived above my other aunt and her roommate. I think i was about 4 at the time. I have no idea what came over me but i had decided to insert the hose into their mail slot that went through the door.Oh you know what came next, i turned the hose on full blast and walked away. Wouldn't have been so bad if someone was home to stop it but that wasn't the case. My aunt returned home from work hours later only to find a huge pool of water coming out her front door. Of course i denied it but with my track record it didn't go over well. A few weeks later they had left their door unlocked and i snuck in a found a black felt pen and doodled on everything in her place. Her roommate hated me and i cant blame her i would have hated me too. Good thing i was cute when i was little i may not have survived my youth.
I had another aunt that lived next door to us in a different house. ( I do have lots of aunts and uncles) Anyways they weren't home one day and my cousin diane was over. We were outside playing and started to get bored. Diane tells me that she wants to play with the toys in my aunts place next door and being the helpful little tot that i, was decided to figure out a way inside. Checked all the windows and doors with no luck. So i grabbed a rock and walked towards the patio sliding door. SMASH! Our entry made alot of noise, so much so that my dad sleeping next door heard it and came running over and caught us inside playing with the toys. hehhehe again i tried to deny it but no luck. Geez i could go on and on. My poor mother, im surprised her hair isnt more grey than it is. Around Christmas time my parents had to go somewhere and needed a sitter. She had a friends place with kids so off i went to stay the weekend there. I grew up with these kids so i was having a great time. They had their christmas tree up with presents under it.Now i wasnt used to that because my mother knew better than to keep presents out in the open like that. Well after the first night i just couldnt help myself, i got up real early. Before anyone else in the house. Made my way over to the booty just sitting there in the open. Well a little while later my mother gets a call from her friend saying , "Come get your bastard child from our house NOW!" I had opened every present under the tree, and was playing with all the toys having a great time. They had gifts people from out of town had sent. They werent even sure who's was what. I know i know your all thinking how could I have done any of these things. But its true i was a wee bit of a handful when i was little. I still know that family i did that too and we are good friends. Again my poor mother.....
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